Can't Wash it all Away
by Pythian Raina
Summary: What were the characters thinking while the events of the season finale unfolded around them? A series of short internal monologues set during Kobol's Last Gleaming. SPOILERS from KLG1 through to the end of KLG2! Please R&R.


This was originally a songfic with lyrics from "Wash it all Away" by Evanescence, but apparently songfics aren't allowed so I've removed the song lyrics and it's now a collection of internal monologues from various characters during _Kobol's Last Gleaming_. If you listen to the song while you read this, you'll hear how much the lyrics reminded me of the events in the episode. And this isn't really in chronological order because I wrote it in the order that corresponded best with the song. Please review!

Disclaimer: The song that inspired this belongs to Evanescence and the events belong to Ronald Moore.

* * *

**Galactica Sharon**: I'm not a Cylon. I'm Sharon Valerii, and I was born o­n Troy. My parents were Katherine and Abraham Valerii. But what about the blackouts? What about the times when I wake up with a feeling that I've done something terrible? I can't consciously remember it, but it's there, in the back of my mind. Machines can't feel and forget, can they? I can't remember the things I've done, but I can't wash it away…_  
_

**Kara:** I've already hurt him so much by killing his brother, and I'm afraid. Afraid that if I face up to my feelings, I'll hurt him too. So I ran from him and into the arms of a man I don't care for. I tried to blind myself from the truth, but it came and bit me in the ss anyways when I called out the wrong name.

We're both hiding from the truth, and we wound each other because we're both afraid. Afraid of what happens when we both listen to our hearts and realize our feelings. But now instead of hiding, I'm running. Running away on what will probably be a one-way mission to try and get his arrow.

I'm probably gonna die, but you know what? I don't really care? I'm a screwup and the world's better without me anyways. But if I die he'll never know the truth.

And the truth is: I love him.

**Helo:** My heart tells me that she's the same woman that I've fallen in love with: the woman who's been by my side for most of this ordeal, the woman who's been here for me all the way. But now I know that Sharon's not real. She's not Sharon and I'm all alone now.

**Caprica Sharon:** I remember lying beside him and listening to him breathe for so many nights. He's become my heart and my soul: staying with me, holding me, loving me. Together we have evaded an army and made it this far and I would die for him. But he has cast me away for what I am: a machine. How do I make him believe that I feel? How do I show him that I cannot survive without him, Helo, my humanity.

**Lee:** We hurt each other because pain is all we know now. And because we're both fighting feelings that we refuse to acknowledge. We scream at each other and hurt each other in the hopes of driving each other away, and I'm afraid that it's worked this time. She's gone, and I doubt she's coming back.

But my love for her will never fade._  
_

**Galactica Sharon:** I watch the explosion as we speed away from the basestar. I watch as I die countless times. Maybe blowing them away will change something. I may have been created by the Cylons, but I feel human and maybe that's what matters._  
_

**Kara:** With the sudden appearance of _another_ Sharon, I realize that she must be a Cylon. Suddenly, everything that's happened in these last few days bears down on my soul and I cannot bear it anymore. I collapse in screams of agony for what I've lost._  
_

**Lee:** I can't lose him. I've lost Zack, and Mom, and Kara. No gods, not Dad too…

**William:** I can't die without telling my son that I love him. Please gods, please let me live and draw just enough breath to tell him that before I am washed away in the pool of my blood.

**Galactica Sharon:** I should have stayed on that base star and died with the rest of me. I have no soul, no heart. I deserve to die.

**Kara:** I lie there sobbing into Helo's arms, letting the tears wash the grime away. But it doesn't wash away the feelings and the grim reality of everything that's happened to me. I should be, and wish that I were, dead.

_Can't wash it all away...because I'll die if you do._


End file.
